Saturday, February 14, 2009

It's Valentine's Day

Woke up at 1 something noon and still feeling so tired and wanted to sleep more again..
probably I knew that I'll have nothing to do today and why not i just sleep as much as I can since I complained a lot that I didn't get enough sleep everyday~!

The house is quiet..seems like mommy and sis have gone out for their plan and own activity~ I'm just going to have my very own and private time, resting my mind without people nagging all around. haha~
Why people seem like so busy and planned today? Just because it's valentine's day? A day that should be filled with Love. Is it the single people should feel lonely and all alone on this full-of love day? It's subjective. For me, at least not so serious about it.

Many people asked me what is the plan tonight or not going anywhere? or with anyone?
My answer is, No. and Why should I? or do they think I must? However, today is not the right time to look for my friends to hang out because most of them are spending their time with their loved ones and I don' think I want to place myself in that situation! I do have friends, quite number of single friends too. haha! but NONE of my female friends who is single!! Arghh~ may be I just have less girl friends. It makes me feeling emo a little bit when I see that I'm the only girl without boyfriend among the girls! >_< I'm easily feeling emo and I'm also easily getting out of the emo. So it still fine.. haha~

I admit that I'm very emotional. Think a lot.
Like or hate happy or sad can be just different in another minute.
I don't like doing things alone, it makes me depressed. But I'm not sociable either..
I prefer staying at home alone with my computer DVDs Dramas TVs Books Musics or spend my time with people who really know me and I know them well or my doggy MOMO. I love partying, I love hangouts, but only with good friends.
I really want to say sorry to those who always asked me out and I just turned them down.. Sorry. It's my problem that I just lazy to socialize and meeting people and talking about some random generated topics. It really depends much on my mood. Please do not judge me, I'm just being myself and at least i still fine with it. Sounds like I'm someone who hard to get along with.. may be it's true.

Thus, in this so called full-of love day, I do not feel much lonely because I don't have anyone in my mind that I feel I want to share with. I think people might only feel the loneliness when there is someone in their mind but just couldn't get along with them. I just realize this recently. From my own point of view. It may not apply to all.

However, in the previous days when I was in a relationship, Yes, I felt loving and I appreciated the Valentine's day a lot! I'd have planned may be a month earlier what to do for my love ones and I'd really want to spend the day and share the love with him and I wished that was the day of just only both of us. haha~ sounds childish?! might be. Just because I'm that kind of, if i really love someone, I will just completely in love with that someone and I'll just want to give him the best ever.
But this only happens when I really fall into someone. Otherwise like now, I do not have any feeling at all to anyone or anything... It sounds extreme and bad. I do appreciate the goods people have done for me, all I can do is, saying Thank you truly from heart. I feel a little bit guilty and I think I do not deserve it sometimes, even as friends. I even feel myself just behave like a freak.. -_-|||

I know that I may have given bad impression to people because of my odd attitude. I'm really sorry for that. I just haven't find that right one, doesn't mean that I'm bad to people who may think I'm not a good people or won't even be a good girlfriend or even friend. I just can't help it on how people think on me. Until the right one appears, things would be revealed. hahahahaha~
Friends asked, if I still behave this way to people, how i gonna get the right one then?! haha~ It was a good question! Be frankly, I don't know. May be just wait til he falls from the sky one day in the morning soon. I believe that the right one will just appear if he is the right one no matter how i behave. Right?!

Anyway, wish everyone in love Happy Valentine's Day! :)

I would really want to say Thank You to the sender himself / herself..haha~ But I really do not know who sent this to me! I don't think I'll be happy receiving flowers from unknown sender.. a little bit scary instead and I don't like secret too. I would be glad enough if you just let me know. Anyway, was a surprise! Thank you. :)


DelvC said...

It's ok is over ..
it was a tough day for me too ..

Jitzu said...

Miimo!! Sorry to say that I laughed at this part, "Until the right one appears, things would be revealed. haha~". Not a derisive laughter, but I'm just feeling funny reading that part. Funny as in happy because you are seeing things positively. Yeah, agreed, the one will somehow appears in your life and will accept all the 'freak' inside you~ XD

Anyway, let me make a wild guess. It's a guy!! Haha...(Do remember to tell me when 'he' revealed himself, hehe)

Anonymous said...

i have a theory, secret lover usually are the person that talk to you the least(that's why its call secret duh ) think about those people... best bet ,shy ,loyal ,quiet guy friend you know ;)

Jitzu said...

Haha, your bolded 'Anonymous' username puts you in the list of 'possible secret admirers' too~ XD

Darren Lim :: 上煌 said...

wouldn't be me, though i don't talk to you much, hahahaha