Today I've just made a "not-little" (not so big either..) decision for myself... without consult any "big people" in my family! wihout their knowingness as well! I'll let them know later of course. And actually... I think i'm already a "big people" as well... No longer a kid.
All this while, whatever or whenever that decision is needed, I would surely consult the adults, to help me decide, think, or to guide me out to the safest way. I was just too dependent on people around me which i shouldn't be! I was just used to it since little that problems would be just settled by family..boyfriend..friends or even my younger sister! I was a poor one...damn it! An useless...unreliable person?! That's why my words were always treated as nonsense shit by my friends around! wtf...! even i was serious sometimes! It'd been my trademark, a nonsense freak who ever thought of the watermelons were grown on the tree! LOL~ In fact, I've been always trying to settle things by my own. I really do! Just that people do not much realize about it. Because why? I'm low-profile enough! hahaha~
However, the lucky me still got a little few buddies who can understand me and can really talk. I appreciate them a lot! Bryan and Mafex! I love u guys so much!!! I think only u 2 would know that my brain is actually working and not just filled with nonsense shit... right?! (may be a little bit of it should have..) haha!! Thanks for always being the supportive ones! I wouldn't forget to mention yours name whenever I got the Nobel Award soon!! XD
I want to work things out on my own which Im already doing now.... I want to have my own decision, for my own life, for whatever i want to do or i want to have or wherever I want to go! But, with my kind of attitude, I'm not so sure whether it is a right thing to do sometimes or will i regret it later. I just know that, if I never give it a try, i would surely regret, no matter what! So, I would rather regret it after that instead of never dare to even make a move! As if im young so i can say thing this way!? Whenever come into choices or decisions, i hate the term "consideration"! I would consider but it won't be long. People may use up to a month to make a 50 steps further decision.. but I may probably take a week and plan only up to 5 steps ahead! Cos.. who knows I'll just die and head to the heaven on the 4th step! I guess people who think they know me well would just throw me a word "Stupid". I accept it. Isn't there's a saying that girls shouldn't be too clever cos it's difficult to find a husband next time?! hahaha!
I always believe in "When there's a will, there's a way" ! No matter how's my life would be, may be a little more burden...a little more difficult...a little more responsibilities...a little more pressures... I'll take it. For sure. Because, it's my life. May be 1 day soon I'll really make another bigger decision which I've been longing for a long time... :)